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September 27, 2009

Love Is Blind @ 4:05 PM



Whoever said that love is blind was holding all that's true;
I've never felt emotions that were more hurt or confused.

For him to take my loving heart and put it to the test;
He knew that I would choose what's right, but he felt it was best.

I stood there looking helplessly for some truth in his eyes,
I never thought that I would find regret from telling little lies.

To see the sorrow in those eyes just makes me want to die;
I said I forgave him, for I didn't have to try.

I could not get angry, could not scream or hit or hate;
I only felt so hollow, very numb and desolate.

I gave him my heart and soul, it was no sacrifice;
His kind words melted a lost heart that once was made of ice.

That's not to say there was no warmth beneath this cool facade,
However, holding back and keeping trust has led to my mirage.

I trusted him with who I was, my guard, at rest it laid;
I let him in to see the side that's never been displayed.

His tricking me to think my faith was safe within his claim,
Has only led to question if my judgment was to blame.

That is why I sit here now, my life I contemplate;
I've looked at love through eyes of blind, how could this be my fate?


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September 24, 2009

Man Kumari's Story @ 5:07 PM

"They used to call me crazy."
And indeed she looked the part, when Man Kumari first arrived at Tansen Hospital in Nepal five years ago. As Manumit, the hospital's Director of Social Services describes it, her hair was matted and the sari she was wearing was filthy. Man Kumari refused to speak to anyone and her face was gaunt and thin from not eating. Even more worrisome was the fact that she was not permitting her one and a half year old son,, Santosh, to eat. Snatching food out of his hands, she would throw it out of his reach telling him that it was "poison". Man Kumari was severely depressed and not without reason.

She was the wife of a "Sarke" (or cobbler), a caste despised in Hindu society because of its work with cow hide. As her husband's income was not adequate to support his family, he went to India in search of work. While he was in India, Man Kumari became pregnant by another man. When her husband returned and found out, he threw her out of his home. The village of Pokhara Thok added its scorn and rejection to his barring her from the village. Man Kumari had little option but to beg for food wherever she could find it. And her life became even more difficult to her when Santosh wasborn.

The scenes of Man Kumari's first few injections for her depression are vividly recalled by Manumit. Permission from the Chief District Officer had to be obtained to administer her medication, as she would not willingly receive it. She screamed and struggled with hospital staff for more than half an hour before finally submitting. At the time of the next injetion there was another fifteen minute disturbance. Hospital staff were ready and waiting for her on the third occasion, but Man Kumari surprised them all by willingly baring her arm for her injection.

Man Kumari's treatment has been long-term and her steady recovery an encouragement to all of the staff who deal with her. "Ican do it," she says, as she works to prepare gauze pads in the Central Supply of the hospital. "They used to call me crazy." Her smile and her words reveal the confidence she has regained.

"She is a good worker and helpful," her supervisor says, with an obvious appreciation fo rher work. He goes on to share that Man Kumari has been pressing him for two more hours of work per day, which would enable her to cover the cost of food for her and Santosh, as well as contributing towards his school fees. "She is quite happy." The words her supervisor uses to describe Man Kumari, point to the inner healing and restoration that has taken place because of the care and compassion shown to her at Tansen Hospital. Treatment of the mentally ill is an integral part of the services of Tansen Hospital.

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"I'll die. I'll die soon."
Janaka Devi (68) lived in the small village of Butar in eastern Nepal. She lived alone with her husband Kabil Man (75), now that their family of 3 boys and 4 girls had grown up. Kabil Man began to notice his wife's lack of appetite. She complained of pain in her abdomen; and there was some obvious swelling visible there as well. As was the custom of those in her village they first went to consult the local "dhami" (shaman). He took Janaka Devi's wrist to feel her pulse and he chanted. Then he "blew" on her and used his special knowledge of wild herbs to create a paste to rub on her stomach. Janaka Devi and Kabil Man did just as they were told and went to the temple to sacrifice a chicken. But all this seemed to do little good. And the swelling and discomfort in her abdomen kept increasing.

Her family and friends urged Janka Devi to go to the hospital in Rajbiraj. It was difficult for her even to go in and out of the house when she needed to, andthe hospital in Rajbiraj was 7 days away. The thought of such a long journey seemed daunting to Janaka. "No," she said, "I will not go that far." The next closest hospital was UMN's (United Mission to Nepal) hospital in Okhaldhunga, but that was 5 long days walk away. And where would they get the money they needed for the journey, when they could barely afford to feed themselves? Despite her not eating very much Janaka Devi was gaining weight and she looked more like pregnant woman each day.

Soon they were left with little choice. Janaka Devi and Kamil Man decided that they would go to the "mission hospital" in Okhaldhunga. Some men from their village had offered to help carry Janaka Devi and they wanted Rs. 800 ($16) for their work. Janaka Devi and Kamil Man estimated that they would require at least another Rs. 1200 ($24) to pay for the food and Janka's treatment. They scraped and borrowed and begged from family and friends until they had what they thought they needed, and they set out on the road that followed the Kosi River. The journey ahead was a long and difficult one for a couple of their age and they arrived at Okhaldhunga weary and exhausted.

To the doctors at Okhaldhunga Hospital, Janak Devi looked like a woman whose pregnancy was long overdue. Her uterus was prolapsed; and she complained of being incontinent for 2 years. An ultra-scan revealed a mass in her abdomen, extending from her pelvis to her chest, which the doctors knew would need surgical removal. But when they informed Janaka Devi of the cost that would be involved Rs. 1200 ($24) for the operation and another Rs. 5000 ($102) for the hospitalization, she cried because she knew that she did not have the money. "I'll die. I'll die soon," she sobbed as she went to prepare to return to her village. Kabil was frightened and did not want her to have the operation.

Seeing that her need was a genuine one, the staff of the hospital decided that Janaka Devi could be assisted financially by the Medical Assistance Fund, and they convinced her to stay on and have the operation. A very large ovarian cyst weighing 11kg (nearly 1/4 of her body weight) was successfully removed from her abdomen. Janaka Devi left a happy woman after a 20 day stay in Okhaldhunga Hospital, not to die but to be able to spend many more days enjoying her grandchildren.


Janaka Devi and Kabil Man after the surgery at Okhaldhunga Hospital

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September 23, 2009

Jyoti's Story @ 2:41 PM

"It is safe to say that this baby would probably not have made it."
It was the morning after the delivery in the maternity ward at UMN's (United Mission to Nepal) Tansen Hospital in Palpa District of western Nepal. Jyoti sat upright in bed, her new baby girl nursing at her breast. Contentment was written all over her face. Her husband stood quietly by her side, as five year old Ganesh stole a look at his sister. The pedeatrician making rounds looked over her chart and examined the baby. She asked Jyoti how the baby had been feeding. Pleased with the mother's report and the results of her examination she turned aside to say, "It is safe to say that this baby would probably not have made it had Jyoti not come to the hospital."

After Ganesh there had been a miscarriage. And then came more disappointment when a still-born was delivered breech at home in the small mountain village of Sekadanda. Jyoti was afraid that the same thing would happen again, and she was not going to take any chances with this baby! At the first signs of labor she gathered her few belongings together for the journey to the hospital. She managed the 15 minute walk up the mountain to the road without much difficulty. But after 2 hours in the back seat of the bus that wound its way over the bumpy mountain road to Tansen, she was tired, sore and more than ready for the hospital bed to which she was admitted.

The ultra-sound revealed that the baby was presenting breech which the doctor's examination confirmed. Preparations were then made so that when it came time for Jyoti to deliver, they were ready for her. The delivery proceeded without any complications. Later the same day she was able to return home to Sekadanda with her new daughter.

But Jyoti's story might not have had this happy ending. Women like Jyoti are often left alone with the cattle in the stable when it is time to give birth in Nepal, as they are considered unclean and untouchable at the time. The instrument used to cut the cord is often the same sickle used to cut grass for the cattle. These circumstances are less then ideal even for a normal delivery!

Lowering the high infant mortality rate of 102 per 1000 live births continues to be a primary focus of health efforts in the country of Nepal. During the last year there were 168 complicated deliveries out of a total of 549 deliveries at Tansen Hospital. Diagnostic ultra-sound is being used with increasing effectiveness in cases such as Jyoti's. Close cooperation exists between the hospital and the Palpa Community Health Project, which has made extensive use of the "family folder" in its activities. Pregnancies are tracked carefully through Maternal Child Health activities, and pregnant mothers who are considered to be at risk are referred to the hospital for further follow-up. An annual household survey which has been conducted for the last eight years indicates a significant decline in the infant and child mortality rates within the project area to less than 30 per 1000 live births.

For those desperately poor people, who like Jyoti cannot afford medical care, UMN provides financial assistance. Jyoti's husband was asked to pay 150 Rupees ($3) as he owns no land and has work only when it is available. What they did not know was that the true cost of the care provided was 300 Rupees ($6), the difference being made up by the Medical Assistance Fund. Each year UMN seeks to help the sick and needy like Jyoti who are unable to cover the cost of their treatment.


Jyoti holding her beautiful baby girl

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